💒 Marry the Process, 🚫 Divorce the Results: A Mindset Shift for Success

In a world that glorifies overnight success and hyper-focuses on outcomes, it's easy to become obsessed with results. But what if the secret to long-term success and fulfillment lies in doing the opposite? "Marry the process, divorce the results" is more than a catchy phrase—it’s a transformational mindset that can help you unlock your full potential while maintaining balance and peace of mind.

What Does It Mean to Marry the Process?

To "marry the process" is to commit fully to the journey, embracing the daily actions, habits, and efforts required to achieve your goals. It’s about showing up consistently, even when progress feels slow or invisible. This mindset shifts your focus from the destination to the path, allowing you to stay present and engaged.

For example, if you're training for a marathon, marrying the process means celebrating each training run, listening to your body, and sticking to your plan—regardless of how fast you’re improving. It’s the joy of the run, not just the thrill of crossing the finish line.

Why Divorce the Results?

Divorcing the results doesn’t mean giving up on your goals—it means detaching your self-worth and happiness from the outcome. This separation allows you to avoid unnecessary stress, disappointment, or burnout when things don’t go as planned.

When you focus too much on results, frustration can set in if they don’t materialize as quickly as expected. Worse, you might be tempted to take shortcuts or abandon the journey altogether. By letting go of the obsession with results, you create space for learning, growth, and resilience.

The Benefits of This Mindset

1. Improved Consistency
   When you focus on the process, consistency becomes your superpower. Success is rarely about one grand moment; it’s about the accumulation of small, intentional actions over time.

2. Reduced Stress
   Detaching from outcomes alleviates the pressure to perform perfectly. You can approach your work or goals with curiosity and creativity instead of fear and anxiety.

3. Greater Fulfillment
   Marrying the process allows you to find joy in the day-to-day efforts, making the journey as rewarding as the destination.

4. Resilience in the Face of Setbacks
   When results don’t meet your expectations, a process-focused mindset helps you bounce back more quickly. You’re less likely to see failure as a dead end and more as a valuable learning opportunity.

How to Apply This in Real Life

1. Set Process-Oriented Goals
   Instead of saying, “I want to lose 20 pounds,” focus on actionable steps like, “I will exercise for 30 minutes, five days a week.”

2. Celebrate Small Wins
   Acknowledge progress along the way. Did you stick to your schedule this week? That’s a win, regardless of the scale or scoreboard.

3. Stay Curious
   View challenges as opportunities to learn rather than obstacles to overcome. Ask yourself, “What can I improve today?”

4. Practice Gratitude
   Appreciate the opportunity to grow, even when the results aren’t immediately visible.

5. Trust the Process
   Faith is a powerful component of this mindset. Trust that your consistent efforts will eventually lead to the results you desire, even if the timeline isn’t what you expected.

A Final Thought

"Marry the process, divorce the results" is more than a strategy—it’s a philosophy that fosters patience, resilience, and joy.

As someone who has faced challenges like overcoming poverty, PTSD, sexual assault, and the trials of single motherhood and entrepreneurship, I’ve learned the value of committing to the journey rather than fixating on the finish line.

Your journey, like mine, is uniquely yours. Trust in the work you put in today, and the results will come in their own time and form. Embrace the process—it’s where the magic happens. Outwork the known and keep learning.

What’s One Process You Can Commit to Today?

Let’s start a conversation. Share your thoughts below—I’d love to hear your story!